Hooray for losing a pound!

So even despite the fact that I was not very committed to doing my exercise this week, I still managed to lose one pound. Which is awesome =) This week will be totally different though, I can feel it. As soon as I wake up in the morning I will get on to the treadmill, and hopefully after lunch I can do some other sort of exercise that is a little bit more fun like the stepper or Hip Hop Abs. I am not going try to over do it, so that I don't burn myself out. Because burning myself out would be the worse thing that I could do for my weight loss. =)

Anyways today was my free day so I didn't eat the best stuff but I stuck to my calories which is the most important thing.

Breakfast- The Almighty Protein shake=300 calories
Snack- one HUGE orange= 70 calories
Lunch- 2 McDonald's cheeseburgers = 600 Calories
Snack- one string cheese = 80 calories
Dinner- 4 chicken McNuggets and small fries = 420 calories
64 ounces of water =)

Total amount of calories for the day = 1470 =)
Total Exercise for the day = 25 minutes on the treadmill

I don't think I will have a good weigh in =-/

Sooo I have been completely lame this week when it comes to working out. No excuses, I have just been plain lazy. The whole sleeping arrangement has made my laziness even worse. So if I don't lose anything when I get on the scale on Sunday I will only have myself to blame. I am not going to dwell on it though. This is a marathon not a sprint, and I am not always going to have weeks where I lose a lot, or anything for that matter. I am just happy if I don't gain. I know next week will be better, I have no doubt in that =)

I have to say though that I am proud of myself with the way I am eating now. I am glad that it's all coming to me very easyily, so for that I am truly grateful. It's amazing that I still don't have huge cravings, and I am not even thinking about binging. I dont have anything to binge on anyways, unless I want to binge on fruit or salad lol Well,tomorrow is another day =)

Food Journal for today....it's a little weird, I snacked a lot more than eating meals I guess:
Breakfast: 1/2 cup of grapenuts(200), 3/4 of a cup of granola(210), 1 cup of milk(140)and one banana(60?) = 610 calories
Snack- Double the fiber English Muffin = 110 calories
Snack- 2 peanut butter snadwich crackers = 60 calories
Dinner- Leftover Porkloin 6 ounces(180) a serving of loaded mashed potatoes(190) and 1 cup of veggies(35)=405 calories
Snack- A 100 calorie pack of Pepperidge farms Dark Choocolate Chunk cookies(100) and some watermelon(100?)= 200 calories or so

Total amount of Calories for the day = 1385 =)

I love my new cam =)

Ok, So I realized that I did not have any before pics of my body. So with my new handy dandy web cam I decided to take some full body pics. I definitely cant wait to see those images change. I look worse from the side it's kinda funny hehe.

Anyways, I just got to keep reminding myself that those are starter pics and I won't look like that forever. =)


Food Journal for today:
Breakfast- The Almighty Protein shake= 300 calories
Snack- English muffin= 110
Lunch- Leftover pasta..there wasn't a whole lot left so I am guessing that it was about = 375 Calories or so
Dinner- 6 ounces of grilled pork loin(180), 1/2 cup of garlic mashed potatoes(110), and 1 cup of veggies(35) = 325 calories
Snack- 6 triscuits(120), One string cheese(80) and some watermelon(60?)=260 calories

Total Calories for the day= 1370

Why cant I go to bed at a normal time???

So I cant seem to get myself to bed at a normal hour and I feel like it is messing me up with this weight loss. Now I am still getting the 8 hours of sleep but I wake up super late because of that. So I go to bed at 2 in the morning and wake up at 10 in the morning. And by the time I wake up I feel really tired and out of it and it basically ruins my whole day because I feel like that the whole day and keep wanting to fall back asleep. Now this fatigue thing wouldn't be so bad if it didn't interfere with me exercising but it most definitely does interfere. I just can't muster up the strength and exercise. i thought food would be the hard part in this whole process but it's the exercise that's the problem. I hope that when I lose more weight I will have a lot more energy =) I just don't want to slow my progress down cuz i cant get ther exercise thing down. It's really weird for me to even be in this predicament, due to the fact that i was such an athlete back in the day. I lived and breathed sports, and hiking and bike riding. So I know its in me, I just need to wake it up, and soon =)

Food journal for today:
Breakfast- cream of wheat (made w/a cup of milk) w/two slices of organic wheat toast = 440 cals
Snack- String cheese= 80 calories
Lunch- 6 inch teriyaki sub on wheat with cheese = 410 calories
Snack- a 100 Calorie pack of Gold Fish = 100 calories ;)
Dinner-6 inch teriyaki sub on wheat with cheese = 410 calories

Total amount of calories for today = 1440..not bad =)

Hey hey another day =-P lolz

Sooooo yeah today was a very normal day =)
So since I work from home I have a lot of downtime during my everyday chores. And I am just totally addicted to watching the weight loss You Tube videos lol I need to get a life , but it's just so interesting to see a little bit of a person in a 8 minute video. It's nice to not feel alone. I have found a lot of amazing people on there =) I sooo hope that one day I will be able to impact someones life, like how a lot of these popular You Tubers do for so many. It really is a motivation to stay on track and make the videos and have people see your progress. I bought a new web cam that is arriving tomorrow, so I am excited about that because it's kind of a pain in the butt making videos with my tri pod in the bathroom lol Anyways I am glad I found these vids =) I especially love watching the videos where people talk about the kind of healthy food they eat and recipes. It helps give me ideas for dinners, since I pretty much cook every single day now.


Anyways heres my Food Journal for today:
Breakfast- The almighty protein shake..one scoop of chocolate protein powder, 8 ounces of milk, a few blackberries,a few strawberries, and a few chunks of banana. All of the fruit i use is frozen and it juts tastes better that way in my opinion. It taste like a cold milk shake..mmm = 290 to 300 cals
Snack- A few chunks of Watermelon = 30 or so calories
Lunch- A simple turkey sandwich, on toasted organic wheat bread, a 1/2 tbls of mayo,mustard some tomato and some greens.and 9 tortilla chips = 430 calories
Dinner- a half a cup of elbow pasta(I measured it out dry then cooked it) and 4 ounces of lean ground turkey, and 1 cup of organic pasta sauce and a sprinkle of parmesan= 460 calories
Snack- a double the fiber English Muffin and a cup of Mint Tea= 110 calories

Total amount of calories for the day = about 1320-1330 =)
So I hope I am not sabatoging myself by always coming under 1600 calories =-/ I don't mean to come under, its just that most days I am full and I dont need to eat anymore. I guess only time will tell, but if it ends up being that I need to use up all of those calories, I will =) because I definitely want to do this in a healthy way and don't want to make my body think that I am starving it.

Going overboard...

Man Shawn just went freaking nuts yesterday. When we started this thing we were suppose to be doing it as a team. And we agreed that on Free Days we would not go nutty. I held up my end of the bargain and I came in under my calories. He just had a total free for all. Now he doesn't need to be as strict about the diet as I am, since he only needed to lose about 15-20 pounds(and he is like 4 pounds or so away from that) its just that I don't want him to take steps backwards and gain the weight back and then be all moody that he gained a beer belly. Here's what his day looked like yesterday: two big bowls of cereal in the morning, the same hamburger and fries deal as me, then he probably had a bout 5 beers, another 2 bowls of cereal, and like 3 100 calories candy snack packs, plus whatever else he might have snucked in . Now since he is pretty active I told him he could prolly eat about 1800-1900 calories a day and maintain his weight but he went WAY over lol. I just don't want him to make it a habit or start getting to loose and bring bad food into our home. OK End of Rant lol

My day was ok today. I was a little fatigued, I am not to sure as to why. But I was just totally unmotivated to do anythihng. I did manage to do about 10 minutes or so of Step Aerobics..but thats not really going to cut it hehe. Well tomorrow is another day =)

Food Journal for today:
Breakfast- 2 whole eggs and one egg white, a double fiber English Muffin,and 8 ounces of pure orange juice (no other ingriedient, just pure juice)
Lunch- a can of tuna with half of a TBLS of mayo, some fresh salsa, and 9 white tortilla chips
Snack- One string cheese = 80 calories
Dinner- a Salmon burger (170 calories) a whole wheat bun,1 TBLS of mayo, half of a small avocado,and a tomato slice = 554 calories
Not too much veg or fruits today but tomorrow will be better =)

Total calories for the day = 1354 and I might have a portion of those low fat carmel rice cakes later, which is 60 calories =)

First Free Day....

Soooo today was my first "Free" day. Now I told myself I would have one free day a week but whatever I chose to eat that day I needed to keep my calories under 1600. So I ended up being under but it was a little crazy lol
I had a craving for a hamburger but instead of buying one from McDonald's or something, I made them using my trusty George Foreman Grill. Before I changed my diet I had purchased some frozen hamburger patties from Costco. I didn't even bother to look at the nutrition label when we bought them, and I probably should have lol One patty is 280 calories and 200 calories are pure fat! So that was a shocker. But I made them today anyways and bought a small french fries from Carl's Jr. (which I will probably never do again) I think next time I will pick one or the other, but definitely not both. My body went into shock after having all of that salt from the fries lol It was not fun to say the least. But the hamburger was awesome I added avocado, and provolone, and turkey bacon...yum! haha Anyways that one meal took almost all of my calories for the day, but surprisingly I wasn't too hungry after that so that's good =) Ok enough talk about hamburgers and fries its time for my food journal which looks pretty awful, I definitely couldn't squeeze five meals in =-/

Food Journal for today:
Breakfast- A chocolate protein shake with 8 ounces of milk, strawberries,a little bit of banana,and some blackberries - 290 calories
Lunch/Dinner- A Homemade hamburger on a whole wheat bun, with ketchup, mustard, tomato, avocado, provolone, and a slice of turkey bacon...
with a small french fries = 1070 calories!!!!!!
Snack- 7 carmel rice cakes = 60 calories
LOTS OF WATER!!! I needed to wash away all of that salt I took in haha =)

Total amount of calories for the day =1420

Forcing myself to eat...

So for some reason today,I have had the hardest time eating towards my amount of daily calories. it wasn't like I was intentionally trying to eat less I was juts pretty full most of the day. As I am typing I am forcing myself to eat an apple with a couple of tablespoons of peanut butter. Now I could have just not ate and left my calories at 1100, but I know that's not the right way to eat. I definitely don't want to sabotage myself. especially the night before my weigh in.

Anyways, I tried my new Step Aerobics DVD and it kicked my butt. I did about ten or 15 minutes of it. The crazy women on it go so darn fast though lol They are on extreme uppers, I just couldn't physically keep up. I couldn't get all of my fat to move at their pace lol. But it was fun and I will try it again on Monday....good times.


Food Journal for today:
Breakfast- Fruit smoothies w/8 ounces of Mango juice, a few strawberries,a couple of chunks of banana,and a few black berries= about 200 calories
Lunch- The turkey spinach bacon tomato and cheese sammy again lol I just really love eating that. But I will try to not make it a habit =) I also ate 9 white corn tortilla chips= 495 calories
Snack-one bag of popcorn= 100 calories....(the new 100 calorie packs...amazing!)
Dinner- A big Salad w/ organic greens and spinach, 3 ounces of chicken, 30 grams of mozzarella, 6 Tbls of salsa, some shredded broccoli and carrots, and 12 croutons=310
Snack- one small green apple and 2 Tbls of Crunchy Peanut Butter...yum =) = 260 calories

Total calories for the day is 1365...barely hehe =)

Addicted to Protein Shakes lol

As the title says I am addicted to protein shakes hehe
I believe everyone could love protein shakes if they added the right stuff to it to make it yummy. When i drink these its like drinking a milkshake.And what gives it that milkshake texture and temperature is using frozen fruits. I like using frozen bananas, strawberries,and blackberries YUM!
Anyways I just felt like praising the almighty protein shake lol

As for how the day went....it was pretty darn good =)
I worked out on the treadmill for 20 minutes. I really do like how I feel afterwards, at first I feel like I am going to collapse and then after I just feel really calm when I am sitting down drinking my shake =)
I hope to incorporate more exercise to my routine. Previously i think I talked about hip hop abs. But I think I need to lose more weight before I can really give that DVD my all. But I cant wait cuz I love to dance. But the other day my ex bought me a stepper from Wally-Mart, and it came with a nice DVD. I haven't done it yet, but I did watch the DVD. After watching the video, it looks like it will be a pretty nice workout for me. The women on there seem crazy, which will make it entertaining lol Well my weigh in day is closing in and I hope the extra effort with the calorie counting and the small amount of exercise I am doing will pay off in the end. I am not expecting a HUGE number or anything. I would love to just stay consistent with around 2 or 3 pounds every week. That amount definitely woks for me!

Food Journal for today:
Breakfast: The Almighty Protein Shake! haha 8 ounces of milk, one chocolate protein scoop,4 strawberries some blackberries,and a few chunks of frozen banana = 280
Snack- Some watermelon cubes= 60 calories
L- A tasty turkey,bacon (turkey bacon) spinach,tomato and mozzarella sandwich on organic grain bread, grilled on the George Foreman Grill of course w/ a side organic salad and Italian dressing = 500 calories
Dinner- a 6 ounce salmon fillet and a cup of steamed veggies = 280
Snack- a small green apple with 2 Tbls of chunky Peanut butter...Sooooo good, I forgot how yummy that is =) = 250 calories

Total Calories for the day is = 1370 =)

=]

Exercise= 20 minutes on the treadmill...which doesn't sound like a lot to most people but for me that was a good workout lol and I was only at 2-2.5 in speed hehe. But hopefully the more weight I lose the easier the treadmill will get and the higher I will be able to put it. I felt really good after I was done.

Food Journal for today:
Breakfast- a very yummy chocolate protein shake with 4 frozen strawberries,half a frozen banana,and a few frozen blackberries and 8 ounces of milk = 300 calories
Lunch- A turkey sandwich on organic grain bread with spinach,tomato,2 turkey bacon slices,and 30grams of mozzarella cheese. I pressed it down on my George Foreman Grill soooooooo YUMMY!!! lol = 380 calories
S- a bowl of watermelon and 10 grapes = 100 calories?
D- Breaded Tilapia fillet + 1 cup of steamed veggies = 335 calories. I am taking a big guess on this one cuz I bought these tilapia fillets pre-breaded in the fresh meats section at Costco =)
Water =30 ounces or so....pathetic I know lol

Total Calories for the day = 1115 that's not very much so I might eat a lil something later as a snack

Feeling Good =)

So I am feeling better today, and I am feeling a lot happier. =)
It was nice to spend my Ex's day off together and just Co-exist and have fun together.
I saw my brother yesterday which was nice, I love seeing him and I love how my dog goes crazy every time he sees my brother lol Its so funny.
My brother was pretty proud of me for making a change and to lose the weight. I know hes been worrying about me and all of the weight I am carrying. But he doesn't need to be worried anymore, because I am going to make it out ok =)

Food Journal for today:
Breakfast- Strawberry,banana,mango smoothie. 5 Strawberries,half a small banana,and 8 ounces of mango juice, and a Double the Fiber English Muffin = 310 calories
Snack-2o black grapes = 60 calories
Lunch- Big green salad, w/2 tbls of balsamic vinaigrette & half ounce of feta plus veggies = 175 cal
Snack- 6 Triscuits and one string cheese = 200 calories
Dinner- 1 1/2 of the Flat out wraps made into pizzas, 4.5 ounces of chicken, 1.5 ounces of cheese, and 1/4 cup of pizza sauce plus spinach tomatoes and red onions = 518 calories
Total Calories for the day is 1263...I might have a 100 calorie snack later ;) So if I do my calories would be 1363 which is still pretty good
EDIT: I ended up having only have of a 100 calorie Oreo snack...soo thats pretty good =)

Having an emotional time...

For the past week I have been having a roller coaster of emotions. Now that I don't have food to fall back on when I am sad or stressed, all of my emotions keep pouring out of me. I have had so much bottled up that I just cant control it anymore. I keep crying and crying and crying. I feel really alone and just sad. These feelings don't make me want to go out and eat a bunch of bad food, its just that they are hard to get use to. I now have to rethink on how to deal with things that are troubling me. I know a change wont be over night, because I have been using food as a crutch for years, but I hope something changes soon. As i am typing this I feel like crying lol I can feel my throat getting choked up. I hate feeling this way because I like to be peppy and positive. I definitely wouldn't allow myself to act like this around anyone, except my Ex because its unavoidable, due to the fact that we live with each other. The novelty of living with my ex is starting to wear off. I know he will end up dating soon and having another girlfriend and I just don't think I can live in the same house as him and knowing he is with someone else. You just can't turn off feelings for someone like that so quickly when you were with them for almost five years =(
What a downer of a post huh? lol

Food Journal for today:
Breakfast- a chocolate protein shake with 8 ounces of milk,
5 strawberries and half of a banana = 280 cals
Snack- 6 pretzels = 40 calories
Snack- Nutrigrain bar - 130 calories
Lunch- 6 inch teriyaki sub = 410 calories
Dinner- 6 inch Teriyaki sub with a 100 calorie pack of chips = 510
30 ounces of water....I keep forgetting to put my water intake everyday hehe
Total calories for the day is - 1370

=-D

So last week I was talking about how I tried taking my dog for walks and my calves hurt extremely bad and I couldn't walk. well today I thought I would try the treadmill and see if I had the same problem and surprisingly I didn't. So I think that maybe it just has something to do with the hard asphalt you have to walk on outside. So the treadmill is a little bit easier on my legs. So I did 20 minutes of the treadmill today and I didn't feel like dying! lolz I felt really good and worked up a good sweat. So I think I will stick to this for a while until I lose more weight and can be more comfortable out on real sidewalks =) I jsut feel bad for my dog who is going to get the shaft of me not wanting to walk outside =( I will make it up to him when I am thinner and healthier though.

Here's my food journal for today:
Breakfast- I made a smoothie from 8 ounces of mango juice, 5 strawberries and half a frozen banana, and one double fiber English Muffin= 300 cals
Snack- a nectarine= 60 cals
Lunch- 1/2 cup of grape nuts and 1/2 cup of granola, and 1/2 cup of milk= 480 cals
Dinner- 1 cup of shells and cheese, 3 ounces of grilled chicken, and 1 cup of veggies= 475
Calories for the day is 1315 =)

2.6 pounds closer to my goal!

Yay! I loss 2.6 pounds today. Which is absolutely awesome. I am now down 8.8 pounds in three weeks which is great. I totally wanted to lose at least 10 pounds a month and I am right on track to reach that. I only need to lose 1.2 ponds next week, which I think I can knock out of the park =)
I am super pumped about all of this. This is definitely the longest time I have stuck to a weigh loss lifestyle change, which only proves to myself that this is the time and I am ready to lose it all!

Here is my food journal for today!
Breakfast- 1/2 cup Grapenuts, 1/2 cup of granola, 1 cup of milk, and three strawberries = 556 cals
Lunch- One slice of bread, folded in half with a have a tbls of Mayo some mustard and 2 ounces of turkey, 100 calorie chip pack, and some grapes = 360
Dinner- One Chicken and spinach feta sausage link, 1 cup of organic tomato sauce, 2 roasted red potatoes, and a cup of spinach = 435 cals
I might have grapes later but all in all my total for today is 1351 =)

Its amazing...

what a new change in your daily diet can do to ur health in the matter of days. I have been on this lifestyle change for three weeks, and most of the things that bothered me are now non existent. I use to have heartburn that could burn a hole through concrete. It was soo horrible and painful. Sometimes I couldn't even sleep because it would wake me up every 30 minutes popping up to say hello. I also use to have the worst chest pains after I ate. It was like there was a brick stuck in there. It felt so tight and I felt like I was going to have a heart attack, definitely not a pleasant feeling to have everyday...and there wasn't a night where i wouldn't get totally nauseous, and most nights get to the point to where I would throw up... There are definitely more I could have listed and described in great detail but i don't want to make this one post into five pages long lolz. Anyways the point to all of this mumbling is that all of it went away in an instant after the bad diet had stopped. I couldn't believe it. Things that I had been trying to correct with pills and breathing exercises all went away like a bad dream. I have never felt so good. All of this is definitely an incentive to keep going with this, because why would I want to go back to eating things that physically made me feel like crap???

My weigh in is tomorrow, all I can do is wait to see what the magic number is. =)

Heres my food journal for today:
Breakfast- 1/2 cup grape nuts, 1/2 cup of granola, 1 cup of milk & three strawberries = 556 cal
Lunch- I woke up late so I just wasnt that into it
Snack- 6 triscuits and one string cheese = 200 cal
Dinner- Shrimp, spinach, and pesto eggs, two turkey bacon slices, and one piece of toast =550 cal

Making mom proud....

So my mom called me today and we talked about normal everyday stuff, and then we got to the subject of how I was doing with my new lifestyle change. I told her how organized I am being and how prepared and well thought everything is this time around and I could just hear the pure joy in her voice. I have put my mom through a lot of turmoil in the past. After I was raped I was always running away and acting out and drinking, barely eating, and cutting myself. I was just not taking care of myself and we had a lot of rough patches. By the time I moved out when I was 18, I seemed to have calmed down a lot...So when I started to gain a ton of weight I definitely started to put the stress on my mom, because i was obviously just trading one vice for another. I just didn't know how to deal and control my problems, so over eating and cutting was the next best thing. Fast forward 4 years later she has witnessed how uncomfortable I am with all this weight and how it has effected my health. She is always trying to get me to go to the doctor, but my stubbornness and anxiety gets in the way of me actually going. Which worries her even more. But today she told me how proud she was of me of taking this seriously and making the weight loss work this time. She really believes in me and can feel that this time is different and that I am ready to lose the weight and all of the emotional baggage that comes with it. Knowing that I am making her happy makes me feel even more motivated to lose the weight. I know i would feel terrible if I didn't succeed this time. Not only would I be letting myself down, I would letting her down. But I don't see myself failing. I know I am going to make it! =)

Food journal for today:
Breakfast- 1/2 cup of grapenuts 1/2 cup of honey bunches of oats 1 cup of milk and three fresh strawberries cut into it and an English muffin= 540 calories
Lunch- 2 cups of salad, some tomato and onion, 12 croutons, and 2 tbls of Italian dressing = 175 cal
Snack- 6 Triscuits and one String Cheese = 200 calories
Dinner- 1 1/2 cup of whole wheat pasta with organic tomato sauce, one small spinach and feta chicken sausage link, 2 Tbls of Parmesan = 650
Well, I almost went over my calories for the day the grand total is 1565
I really hope I am calculating everything correctly hehe =)

Why am I soooo bloated???

Well I would type a lil more right now but I am soo tired and I cant keep my mind focus, and I am super uncomfy with being bloated bleh lolz...sooo here is my food journal for today. =)

Breakfast- Three eggs scrambled (two whole, one white) One double fiber English muffin with a bit of butter, two pieces of turkey bacon = 370 calories\
Snack- 7 raw almonds = 60 calories
Lunch- A big green salad with red onion and tomato with an organic green mix and tbls of Italian dressing with 12 croutons= 175 calories
Snack - 6 Triscuit squares and a string cheese = 200 calories
Dinner- 4 Asparagus wrapped in turkey spears, and 1 and a half roasted red potato = 343
Snack- Nutrigrain bar = 130 calories
Total for the day= 1278...Once again I just wasn't that hungry and the food filled me up

Feeling pretty good =)

Well, today was a pretty good day.
It really amazes me everyday, how absolutely easy it is to stay under this certain amount of calories or to just stick to healthy foods. I am feeling pretty full through out the day which is nice. Before i would wait so long to eat that my sugar level would drop dramatically and I would get the shakes, my heart beat would accelerate, and I would feel like i was going to pass out. I no longer feel that way which is awesome. I just need to remember to keep a snack with me for when I leave the house. Today I was waaaay under the amount of calories I should be eating, but I didn't do it intentionally, I was just not that hungry. Exercise was not in existence today =-/ I just get petrified thinking about trying to go outside and walk, knowing those horrible cramps in my legs will come back that make me want to buckle. But I am not going to beat myself up about it, because I know things will get better =)

Here's my food journal for the day:
Breakfast- One double the fiber English Muffin with a tiny bit of butter,3 scrambled eggs
(2 whole one white) and one piece of Turkey bacon with mint tea = 330 calories
Snack- 11 grapes (they are huge!) and 6 cherries (also huge) = 57 calories
Lunch- 6 inch chicken teriyaki sub from Subway = 410 calories
Snack- 14 almonds = 120
Dinner - 6 inch chicken teriyaki sub from Subway = 410 calories
and about 40 ounces of water

Total for the day is....1327

Switchin it up...

So today I decided that maybe for the first half of my journey or even the whole time, that I should try to stick to a certain amount of calories a day. My first couple of weeks I was just winging it and just looking at the portion and if it seemed like the right size i ate it. And I obvioulsy did lose 6 pounds using this method. But I feel that at the weight and size that I am that I should have some structure. So today after doing some research i decided on 1600 calories, which seems like a reasonable amount =)

It takes a little bit more time to do, but I would rather spend a few extra minutes measuring out portions when I know that the outcome will be me ultimately being thinner. That definitely makes it worth it =) And when I start having my free days i will still try to stick to this same amount.

Speaking of structure I also tried to eat every two hour exactly, and I have to say that I did stay full all day it was amazing...I started eating at 10 and had my last big meal at 6:15..I had one snack hours later with tea but I still had calories left over. Now I could have just drank the tea(beacuse I wasn't even hungry)and not had some of the cookies in the 100 Calorie Chips Ahoy bag, but I cant change all my bad habits at once >_< class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">minutes of walking.....I think what the problem was that I was not stretching AT ALL before my exercise and that is definitely not a good idea not to stretch. So tomorrow is another day,and hopefully the stretching relieves the problem =)

Ok so here is my food journal for today including calories:
Breakfast- 1 1/4 cups of cereal and 1 cup of 2% milk = 350 cals
Snack- 12 grapes, 6 cherries, and 18 pretzels =170 cal
Lunch- Turkey Meatloaf Sandwich on wheat buns w/1Tbls of Mayo, greens,& tomato = 450 cals
Snack- 7 raw almonds = 60 cals
Dinner- Turkey wrapped asparagus and a big salad w/croutons and tomatoes = 342 cals
Snack- Mint Tea and 100 Calorie Pack Chips Ahoy = 100 cals
48 ounces of water
Total for the whole day = 1472

Mmmm protein shake...

OK, so today was a good day. I didn't do any exercise today cuz I did a pretty intense "clean the house" workout hehe. Food wise I think I was pretty good. I am not sure if I mentioned this before but I work from home so my day is pretty uneventful for the most part lolz

On a different note, I forgot to mention that I made my first You Tube video yesterday. I decided that alongside of this blog I would also make a "vlog" Which is appropriately titled "A FAT girl's vlog" (link in quotes) I basically just talked about what my weight is and that I am two weeks into it and that I have a long way to go. It was very frightening making that video and actually gathering up the nerve to post it. i don't even like going to the grocery store and having a few people see me let alone the masses of people on You Tube. I have received a good response so far which is very encouraging. I just hope it turns out to be a good way to motivate myself and hopefully with my weight loss I will be able to motivate someone else out there. That would end up making these videos very worth it and fulfilling =)

Soo here's my food journal for the day:
Breakfast- bowl of oats and flakes cereal
Lunch- My first ever chocolate powder protein shake(8oz of milk) with a banana and strawberries..it was pretty tasty >_<
Dinner- a slice of homemade Turkey Meatloaf, a portion of roasted red potatoes with salt and pepper, and a side salad
32oz water
Snack- a small bowl of cherries and grapes and a slice of zucchini bread ... yummm.

End of week 2....Start of Week 3.............278.4lbs

Well, it's Sunday which means its the start of a new week and my weekly weigh in. So I weighed myself this morning saying a prayer that my moms delicious tacos that I ate for two days in a row wouldn't kill me at the scale and thankfully they didn't lol I now weigh 278.4 which means I am down 2.2 pounds from last week...which is a total of 6.2 total pounds that are no longer lingering in my body =)

With every week that passes this decision I made on losing weight seems to get easier and easier. The soda cravings are pretty much non existent. I really don't think about fast food that much...and I am loving all of the fruit and salad I am eating. Even the good old H2O is growing on me *gasp* I know right? I am actually start to enjoy the taste of water haha.

Well while I was back at my hometown visiting with my parents and friends...I spent some alone time with my dad and true to my dad's fashion we went outside early in the morning and went for a walk at the beach. My dad has always enjoyed doing things outdoors when we spend time together, which I like. We stopped by our look farm stand, which is a pretty large stand with a lot of crops and a petting zoo, and he bought me some delicious over priced cherries, strawberries, and a zucchini bread. The zucchini bread isn't something I should be eating but hey it has vegetables in it right? lol

All in all it was a pretty good week. I hope to up my exercise routine, so that I can lose the weight faster. I went for a walk tonight by myself and boy I'll tell ya I had a hell of a time. For some reason my calves and ankles started to cramp and hurt like hell almost immediately. I managed to walk for at least a half hour, but by the time I got home my right foot was numb. Yes, numb. it was really scary and weird =-/ Hopefully tomorrows walk goes a little better.

As for my food journal entry for today it was ok
Breakfast- Cream of wheat with a tbsp of sugar and a double the fiber wheat English muffin w/butter
Lunch- Chicken sandwich with veg and bit of mayo, with a 100 calorie chip bag and a string cheese
Snack- a slice of the ever so tasty zucchini bread...yum
Dinner- I was so exhausted and in a lot of pain after the walk that I just fixed myself a bowl of cereal =-/
and as always tons of water about 40 ounces =)

Tuesday...

Well, I didn't log in my food journal yesterday...So I shall do that tonite as well. Its been a pretty easy couple of days. the hard part is going to be me driving down south to visit my mom...I am scared I will slip up while I am there. I hope I don't. I will prolly have to spend some food for the two days at the grocery store cuz she never has food there lol...She is content with eating rice and beans and cheese with tortillas everyday lol Typical Mexican mom. Anyways here is my food journals:

Monday
Breakfast- bowl of cream of wheat and two pieces of wheat toast with butter
Lunch- one string cheese, handful of pretzels, and some grapes
32oz water
Dinner- a Delicious Salmon burger, with a big salad

Tuesday,
Breakfast- Bowl of oats and flakes cereal
Lunch- Hard boiled egg with some pretzels
32oz water
Dinner- 6 inch Veggie Delight wheat sub from Subway with added grilled chicken from home
After workout snack- another 6 inch Veggie Delight with grilled chicken

I started this week at 284.6 and I am now 280.6 =)

Well, today was a little harder in the hunger category.
But I made it through and I feel ok. I will probably have a little snack before I go to bed.
I am committed to myself to make it work this time.

Food Journal for today:
Breakfast- a bowl of cream of wheat (made with milk) with a bit of sugar in it and two pieces of whole wheat toast with a touch of butter.
Lunch- a bunch of grapes, with pretzels, and a string cheese.
16oz of water
Dinner- 1.5 cups of rigatoni and red sauce with 4 chick pea style "meat balls"

Day 6

So technically I started my life change of the way I eat last Monday the 28th. My Ex, whom I live with, is doing it with me as well for support and for some 15 vanity pounds he would like to shed. Our fridge looks like a stranger to us. We have never seen it so clean and so uncluttered of soda and beer lol

We decided our first month would be a type of a detox month. No soda, No alcohol (he drinks, I don't), No fast food, no junk food of any kind, and nothing processed. So we said good bye to the bad food that we loved and cuddled and said Hello to the new "good" food. We have been drinking tons of water, eating lean meats, green veggies,fruit, and whole grain bread. So far its really not that bad. I have craving like anyone else but I do my hardest to ignore them.

So here is my food journal for today:
Breakfast- Oats and Flakes cereal with a banana cut into into with 2% milk
Snack- a handful of grapes
Lunch- a green salad with tomatoes a few croutons and a drizzle of Italian dressing
Dinner- a seared bread crumb crusted tilapia fillet and sauteed french beans
Snack- a handful of mini pretzels

So all in all a pretty good day =)

I will be weighing myself weekly on Sundays...so stay tuned to see if this week paid off.
I will also start my work out regimen on Sunday.

Where it all began....

So I guess to understand how I got this point of being over 280 pounds we have to go back to my childhood.

I grew up in small beach town, and from birth I had weight problems. I was definitely overweight, but not to an extreme. I really didn't have a whole lot of problems with being picked on or taunted at. Sure there were those few occasions when some noob entered the school and might not have known who they were dealing with, but this was rare. I had a good personality, I was sweet, smart, and I would later find out that I was also athletic. So making friends wasn't too hard for me.
By the time I was in the 6th grade I had shed all of my baby fat thanks to 4 years of soccer and basketball, which I joined in the second grade. Throughout middle school I was still trying to find my feminine self, hidden behind the tomboy that was begging to stay. So I really didn't have much of a fashion sense and I don't feel that I really showed off my body like I wanted to.

When I was 13 I was given my first computer and my first access to the World Wide Web and all its wonders. I was so happy to be able to get away from the family problems that were boiling in my house, and be able to find solace in new and interesting people I was meeting online. During my first year of my internet obsession I met a man that was 14 years my senior, and I was soon sucked into his world and he had me wrapped around his pinkie. A year went by of our constant chatter back and forth and I was falling deep into what I naively thought was love. By the end of Freshman year, I agreed to meet him. The first encounter had it's weird and uncomfortable moments, but I let it slide. On the second encounter was when he convinced me it was time to "give it up". And what happened with him that night is why Dateline made their show "To Catch a Predator" He raped me and I didn't even realize it, or I guess I didn't want to realize it.He assured me that the bruises,the pain,and not being able to walk normally was all the norm of making love, and I was all to eager to believe him so I wouldn't feel so bad inside.

Long story short..after I confided in my friend about what had happened with him. She rated him out, we went to court, he went to jail and my family was torn apart. After that I went into a downward spiral, of alcohol, fighting,sex, and attempted suicide. I just couldn't handle what had happened. There were a few other instances with men treating me wrong that finally prompted me that if they bugged me when I had a nice body and face then maybe they would all leave me alone if I was fat and unattractive. So that is exactly what I did. I ate and ate and ate some more. I met my boyfriend of 5 years when I was 17 and saw that as a great opportunity to keep gaining because he loved me unconditionally. Now fast forward to me now at 22 and 140 pounds more then what I was when I was a teen, and I am completely miserable. Something that I thought would help and make me feel good, did not have a lasting affect.

So now it's time to make a serious change in my life and try to let go of the past and let myself be happy again and stop with the self inflicting pain. I am ready to live my life again. I am tired of being self conscious and paranoid that everyone is staring at me because of my size. I just want to be a normal young woman in her 20's. So lets start....