Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Having an emotional time...

For the past week I have been having a roller coaster of emotions. Now that I don't have food to fall back on when I am sad or stressed, all of my emotions keep pouring out of me. I have had so much bottled up that I just cant control it anymore. I keep crying and crying and crying. I feel really alone and just sad. These feelings don't make me want to go out and eat a bunch of bad food, its just that they are hard to get use to. I now have to rethink on how to deal with things that are troubling me. I know a change wont be over night, because I have been using food as a crutch for years, but I hope something changes soon. As i am typing this I feel like crying lol I can feel my throat getting choked up. I hate feeling this way because I like to be peppy and positive. I definitely wouldn't allow myself to act like this around anyone, except my Ex because its unavoidable, due to the fact that we live with each other. The novelty of living with my ex is starting to wear off. I know he will end up dating soon and having another girlfriend and I just don't think I can live in the same house as him and knowing he is with someone else. You just can't turn off feelings for someone like that so quickly when you were with them for almost five years =(
What a downer of a post huh? lol

Food Journal for today:
Breakfast- a chocolate protein shake with 8 ounces of milk,
5 strawberries and half of a banana = 280 cals
Snack- 6 pretzels = 40 calories
Snack- Nutrigrain bar - 130 calories
Lunch- 6 inch teriyaki sub = 410 calories
Dinner- 6 inch Teriyaki sub with a 100 calorie pack of chips = 510
30 ounces of water....I keep forgetting to put my water intake everyday hehe
Total calories for the day is - 1370

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